What’s built like a cannon ball launcher, frightening when it gets too big, haunting when it comes too small, and at risk of railing, plundering, and ploughing? Not a monster, nor a weapon…It’s a penis.
In horror movies, women’s bodies have long been the site of sexual and violent fantasies. From slashers to exploitation films, women are not only the ones getting killed, but killed with bodies bared and butchered. But the very genre dedicated to exposing the explicit can be lacking in the phallic department. The family jewels, even when dismembered, are often protected from the gory details.
As a genre that plumbs the body for both visual gore and allegorical material, horror movies are uniquely positioned to penetrate our phallic censorship and wield these swords with narrative and symbolic power. It’s time horror movies give the people what they want: release the demon dicks.
Or, release more of them. Some horror films have already made lasting penile impressions. Meir Zarchi’s 1978 rape revenge film I Spit on Your Grave includes not just male full-frontal nudity, but particularly satisfying male full-frontal mutilation when the victim-turned-hunter Jennifer (Camille Keaton) cuts off her assaulter’s, Johnny’s (Eron Tabor), dick off. Speaking of mutilation, Lars von Trier’s Antichrist not only proudly displays William Dafoe’s penis — so famously huge that he had to get a body double to avoid narrative confusion — but it also includes the visual of it ejaculating blood. The movies join the ranks of horror penises: In Midsommar, Christian’s dong, which is the real-life penis of actor Jack Reynor who advocated for male nudity in the movie, flails about naked and afraid; In Possessor, Christopher Abbott’s character Colin is seen inspecting his flaccid penis atop a trimmed bush; Tetsuo: The Iron Man features a penis replaced by a large metal drill that spins when erect; Under the Skin’s penis strides forward, confidently erect and attached to Paul Brannigan.
Frank Henenlotter’s black comedy horror movie Bad Biology takes erectile dysfunction to its campy extreme. Batz (Anthony Sneed) has an impotent penis that he feeds drugs to make hard, but his plan misfires when the member grows a — ahem — head of its own. Addicted to drugs, terrifyingly enlarging, and shooting sperm that makes women cum for hours, the penis becomes the central villain, detaching from its host in search of pleasure. The monster cock is both a comedic beast as well as a literal manifestation of the emphasis placed on the performance of masculinity, especially sexually.
More recent entries to the genre have jumped on the Johnson reveal, too. In Together Dave Franco’s penis gets stuck in Alison Brie’s vagina in a grotesque vision of codependence. Danny Boyle’s latest, 28 Years Later, features an alpha zombie’s massive schlong bouncing in the wind. The alpha cock, which became its own protagonist in post-movie discussions, acts as a surging reminder of the ways zombies have evolved. In the sequel to 28 Days Later, director Danny Boyle and writer Alex Garland evolve the infected from mere brain dead zombies to strong and strategic zombies. The alpha organizes and leads a horde of the infected and, in a moment of humanity in the movie, can also get others pregnant. It’s a rare depiction of a monster procreating from a male perspective when so many characterizations of monster creation surround the language of women. Creatures lay eggs, for instance, and gestate à la Alien or parasitically implant eggs in others like in Cuckoo. Sometimes, women are the ones birthing the monsters themselves as in Rosemary’s Baby, It’s Alive, I Don’t Want to Be Born, and The Brood. Boyle’s well endowed zombie is not just for show but a potent reminder of a virile masculinity.
Not all horror penises need be visually grotesque, such as the case in this year’sThe Ugly Stepsister, Emilie Blichfeldt’s body horror spin on a Cinderella story. The ugly step sister in question, Elvira (Lea Myren), is a teen girl with fantasies of falling in love with a prince. The first penis seen in the film is through the perspective of her naive, rose-colored eyes of love and lust when her nemesis — her beautiful step sister Agnes (Thea Sofie Loch Naess) — is spotted having sex with her secret lover. When his love rocket is shown in its full, erect glory it is through hazy, neon hues and soundtracked to drums and horses gruffing. It’s a stark contrast to the second time we see a penis, when Elivra’s mom is giving a young man a handjob. Despite knowing she is being watched by her daughter, Elivra’s mother proceeds with the sex act, determined to obtain money and social influence through the interaction. By then, Elvira’s fantasy that the prince is a true romantic, not a sleaze ball, are all but bust. The second shaft of Ugly Stepsister — crucially from a man that hit on her first before getting with her mom — is a reminder that a man isn’t going to save her. They’re all downright pricks.
The revealed willy in horror can be utilized far beyond a silly gimmick — they’re used in movies as metaphors for masculinity, symbols of grief, revenge, gender, and the advancement of terror. Perhaps that’s why the girls, gays, and theys were clammoring for Guillermo del Toro to reveal Jacob Elordi’s dick as the creature in Frankenstein. Sadly, there is no Frank in this Stein. But if there were, I’d wager the creature cock would be sewn together from a hodgepodge of other dicks and balls. It would’ve been glorious.
